Failure is one of the few human markers that propose the notion that we will one day be successful in our endeavors. However, too commonly we chalk it up as no more than failure; rather than accepting its likeness to beauty marks and battle wounds of those whom survive and attain success. One must fall in order to understand how it feels to fall; just as one must fail in order to measure what success truly is.
When you are your biggest critic and continue to undermine your small advances in life you are only successful at one thing and that is, holding yourself back.
What is your deepest fear? We all possess some form of fear, but many of us especially minorities are guilty of being fearful of success. It is hard to identify such fear; since it hides stationary beneath the soul, eating away slowly and quietly at your hopes and inspirations; yet it is never boisterous enough to announce its presence. It manifests within us and becomes a part of us. We are blind of its presence until we take the time to look within and identify who we truly are.
As women; we often fear climbing the career ladder too fast. We fear that we will be written off as spinsters, bitches, masculine, and or bag-ladies to name a few. We slowly push towards our goals making sure not to ruffle too many feathers in fear that we will be considered career-obsessed instead of driven.
The fears of most African American’s are masked under the impression that people outside of their individual person are responsible for holding them back; however, it is that type of thinking that later becomes their crutch. This crutch provides a limited line of expectation. No one will expect too much from those possessing the crutch, because “they are oppressed and are simply products of this unfair society” [recite with pity]. However; the underlining reality is that they to want more for themselves but refuse to fall, rise, and take the responsibilities that comes with failing.
This fear of being adequate is definitely not limited to any race or gender; from time to time we all feel like being too adequate could ruin something for us down the line. Growing up I was the little girl who was looked at for early promotion, paid boarding school, special advance programs, and all the like yet when I became a teenager I did everything in my power to perform at a rate lower then my potential. When I had the opportunity to go to college a semester early, I dummied myself down left one credit unfinished just so I could graduate with my senior class. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be apart of the class. Yet; there is something wrong with lowering your worth in your mind to the point where you believe you are not better, and because of that you should remain in school with your peers.
When you equate being successful with being better than others, you will constantly run into Mr. Fear of Adequacy. Unless your desire is to feel superior, then like most human beings you will crave nothing more than to be normal. Normalcy is what fuels this brand of fear.
What is normal? We equate being normal with attaining the minimum average. However; normal should be equated with your desire, passion, and intent to attain your aspirations. If you can find the balance and accept your right to attain such things you will beat the monkey off your back; and the pursuit of being above average when pursing your aspirations will no longer cause you to fear your own adequacy. It is your duty to overachieve and you are doing yourself a true disservice by holding back.
Marianne Williamson says it the best;
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Success is a 7 letter word that we should all try to attain; much like God, Love, Happiness, and Satisfaction. If you can attain all of these you should have no problem discovering your inner light and destiny.
Remember: "To fear your own capabilities is the biggest injustice you can subject yourself and others to." - INK
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